They were the boy band who started it all. Who would have thought there would be so much parenting advice to find in their music? “Come together” with me for fun and some surprising tidbits of wisdom.
1) Let it Be
“Speak these words of wisdom, let it be.” My four-year-old was supposedly playing dinosaurs in her brother’s room. I peeked in. She had taken the liquid hand soap from the bathroom and saturated his wood floor with it. “Mommy look! I’m ice skating!” she gleefully announced as she slopped through the gobbledy gloop. There was a lot I could have said. So I made a cup of coffee and gave her a towel and said, “Well, when you’re done dry it up, okay?” Did I have to dry most of it myself? You betcha! Did I die though? Nope. Is my daughter creative and happy? Yep. Sometimes you just gotta let it be.
2) There is a time to cry for Help!
There is no shame in this, mamas! When my son was diagnosed with a disability I felt like I couldn’t even stand, let alone help him. Little did I know there were heroes in this community. I soon met other moms with more experience, who knew what to say and how to mentor me though the fear and anxiety of those early days. Teachers with a passion for special education took my son by the hand and patiently helped him grow and helped me understand his needs and what our next steps would be. The same thing has happened when I’ve reached out for help for myself and my other children. Sometimes life is hard. We all need community. We are stronger together.
3)Don’t be Afraid
Whether your name is Jude or not! Fear-based parenting, like fear-based anything, will rob your joy and cause you to miss out on opportunities. Be wise, but be courageous. Have that tough conversation with your teen. Show up even when your feelings are hurt. Offer yourself to your kids every day, be vulnerable and genuine even when it’s hard. Your kids will trust and respect your sincerity. In time they will emulate it. We all want to raise courageous and genuine kids. So “don’t be afraid.”
4)Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.
**(Maybe I’m cheating by using two lines from the same song but I don’t care ’cause Hey Jude is chock full of precious gems of wisdom. I could write a whole blog about just that song but I digress.)
Life is heavy, guys. You can not carry it all alone. When your child is in the hospital and your child is also home, lay down the weight of trying to be in two places at once. When you’re burning the candle at both ends to provide for your loved ones, go to bed once in a while. Give yourself grace. Give yourself rest. Give yourself kindness. And all those things you can’t control? Lay them down too. It will be okay. You’re showing up for your family. You’re already doing all you can and all you have to do. Don’t carry it all around all the time. It would be too heavy even for Superwoman.
5)There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.
Read that again. And again. You know that feeling when you’re rocking the baby but she won’t settle and there’s a mountain of dishes and at least eighteen loads of laundry and a report due in the morning and then your husband wants attention and then your dog comes and pukes on the carpet and then your toddler dips their cookie in it? Me too. You’re even meant to be there. In our jobs killing it, in our rocker nurturing, at the sink washing dishes, on the floor scrubbing the stink out, on a date night — every moment of our life from the mundane to the insane is purposed. Live in the moment, live it in confidence. Soak in the now. Well, maybe don’t really soak in the puke, but you get what I’m trying to say.
6)All you need is love. Love is all you need.
Over the years I’ve heard pontificating about how love isn’t all you need. I heard someone say, you also need respect, trust, strength, forgiveness. Let me ask you something, if you love someone won’t all of those things flow from the love? Look into your baby’s smiling face. He’s biting your nipple and pooping explosive diapers on the couch and spitting up on your blouse. Not respectful. Not strong. Not even super loyal, unless he’s hungry. But is there anyone in this world that you love more? I doubt it. Does he love you back? Without a doubt it’s love that gazes up at you with those adoring eyes in those sweet quiet moments. Do you need anything else after all? Maybe nipple cream, definitely chocolate, but mostly love. (It’s even true about terrible twos, threenagers and hangry teens! It’s just the love that keeps us going mama!)
Honorable mentions
I could go on and on because I love the Beatles. So many parenting references in their songs!
Honorable mention goes to:
- Admiral Halsey: “I had another look and I had a cup of tea and a butter pie.” Those are the days.
- “I want to hold your hand,” especially in the parking lot, and when I’m trying to pee alone.
- “Here comes the (son)…” into my bed at 3am with pee soaked pajamas.
- Yellow Submarine: “Full speed ahead it is…action station, action station!” So daily!
- Come Together: “Shoot me shoot me shoot me…” Some days are like that.
- “Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play, now I need a place to hide away…” post-baby lovers know how true this one is!
- I think this verse from “Nothing’s Gonna Change My World” might sum up parenting most perfectly, so in closing: “Sounds of laughter, shades of life are ringing through my open ears, inciting and inviting me. Limitless, undying love which shines around me like a million suns, it calls me on and on…”
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