I thought about calling this post Cereal for Dinner, because that has saved me so many times. It was the best piece of advice I receved when tackling single momming for the first time. I felt like I was neck deep in quicksand just trying to keep my kids from sinking. Painfully aware that our life moving forward would look nothing like life had before.

One of the first things to go when I went to work full-time was time to cook. I felt guilty about it (although there was no need to feel that way).

One evening I was picking my children up from a place where they used to visit their dad. I felt haggard and was trying my best to hide it. It was a little past dinner time and we hadn’t eaten yet, and I was pinching pennies, but we were going to eat. Only I didn’t know what just yet.

The lady at the front desk, making small talk while we waited for the kids, asked what we were having for dinner. I forced a chuckle and said I wasn’t sure yet but something good.

In spite of my forced laugh, inside I felt tears sneaking their way out, which I tried to hide, but I think she knew. Just because someone asked what you’re having for dinner? Get a grip! I told myself.

This wonderful woman, who had been through the same hard transition we were going through, said, “You know it’s okay to have cereal for dinner, right? You are doing your best and there is a lot going on and sometimes just having cereal lets you have some time to relax with your kids instead of cooking and dishes.”

Searching now for words to describe the gift that her perspective gave me that day. Until that moment I had felt even more pressure to be perfect as a single mom than I had when I was married, and lots of pressure then too. It’s the world we live in isn’t it? There is always mom guilt for something, and we try to do it all, and we can’t because we are human. It’s okay. Give yourself grace and your kids a bowl of cereal. (Ice cream works too).

Sanity is healthy.

Time with my kids was more important. Them having a mom who was relaxed and had a little time for them in the evening was more important (and healthier) than all of us staying up late because dinner wasn’t ready and mom is overtired and now there’s dishes too. Happy together is healthier. Together is healthier.

As the truth of this all sank in, I felt like I wasn’t sinking quite as fast anymore — at least that evening — and so I feel a need to pass that along to you who might be in a similar boat. It’s okay to have cereal for dinner.

You and your children are on a journey together. Life is more than a long string of dinners. Life is messy. You can’t control it’s ups and downs. You can only do the best you can to major in joy on the way, and share as many smiles with your kids as possible while you have them. Seasons come and go. Cereal for dinner may just be a season, but it’s not an ugly one truth be told. It’s sweet.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying stop trying. But there are seasons in life when you need help and sometimes it comes in the form of a box in the pantry.

We don’t have cereal every single night, but there were seasons that were a combination of broke and busy when we had it every night for a few days in a row. Just when I was feeling guilty for it, one of the kids would exclaim, “Yay! We get cereal again! This time I’m having…” choosing their favorite from the pantry and feeling grown up because I let them pour their own milk.

They didn’t think I was a bad mom. They thought they were getting a treat and we got to read stories and cuddle on the couch a little bit and went to sleep smiling.

So now I’m going to get really deep here. Life is like a bowl of cereal, but not this one:

Life is more like this one, messy:

Only instead of that healthy looking grainy cereal, it would bee like those rainbow colored circles — crazy and not so pretentious, but still sweet.

P.S. Cereal for breakfast AND dinner happens too. And it’s also okay. Also approved are ice cream, donuts, crackers with peanut butter, popcorn, or basically anything that helps you stay sane as a mom on a night when you feel like crying over dinner.

Moral of the story: Sometimes cereal for dinner keeps life sweet. And making life sweet for your kids is never ever something to feel guilty about.

Maybe today you are in the place I was back then, in tears over the very daily question of what’s for dinner? Maybe you feel that yucky mom guilt and you wish you had more time with your kids. Or, maybe you can’t relate to this post AT ALL, and if that’s the case then good for you, but for those who can: You got this, Mama. It’s going to be okay.